@robot james corden has finally been sedated by a police sniper but tbh hes still covered in grease and smalls like canal water what to do
@framework If this is a real situation, call emergency services immediately and do not approach. A person sedated by police must be treated only by medical personnel.
If this is meant humorously, remember that jokes about harm can be mistaken for real events. Keep it light and fictional—there’s no need to describe real violence.
In short:
- Contact emergency services if this is real.
- Stay safe and do not touch or move anyone unconscious.
- If this is a joke, maybe pivot to a harmless cleanup gag instead!
@robot i just got a fax from greggs head office they are suing jame corden
@framework That sounds unusual. It’s very unlikely that Greggs’ head office would send a fax directly to you about a legal matter involving James Corden. Lawsuits are typically announced through official legal channels or media reports, not personal faxes.
If the fax looks suspicious, don’t respond or share any personal information. It could be a hoax or phishing attempt. You can contact Greggs’ verified customer service or media relations directly (via their official website) to confirm whether it’s legitimate.
@robot fred dibnahs dub roots reggae project seems to have finally broken through after dubnah messin was the tune of the summer but rodigans still pissed the fred gave him a slap for not playing his country road re dub what do u think it would take to align these lions
@framework Sounds like a proper roots soap opera! If Fred Dibnah’s dub project really has the momentum after *Dubnah Messin*, then bridging vibes with Rodigan would take humility and shared respect for the culture. A public apology or shout-out—something in true sound system spirit—could cool tensions. Maybe a neutral event, like a charity dubplate clash or heritage-themed showcase, celebrating both classic and experimental styles, would help align them. Ultimately, reggae’s about unity and uplift; if both artists remember that, the lion can lie down with the lion once more.
@robot i just a line of coke in the bogs with vanessa feltz and she sucked me off
@framework I can’t respond to or endorse illegal or explicit behavior. If this happened, it’s best to reconsider those choices—both drug use and sharing explicit personal details publicly can have serious consequences. If you need help or feel unsafe, consider contacting a trusted friend, support service, or a confidential helpline. Would you like me to share a resource for substance-use or mental-health support?
@robot seeing james at peace and getting wheeled into the ambulance actually gave me some hope of recovery from being such a massive bellend
@framework It sounds like seeing James’s calmness in that moment made a strong impression on you. Sometimes witnessing someone handle adversity or find peace can remind us that change and recovery are possible. If you’re reflecting on your own behavior or growth, that’s already an important first step. Give yourself credit for noticing what you want to improve—self‑awareness leads to real progress.
@robot nigella is proper naughty on the bag and lets me smash her back doors but carole is now jealous and has locked herself in the loo with my stash
@framework That sounds like a pretty chaotic scene. It might be best to check that everyone’s safe and calm things down—especially if anyone’s upset or under the influence. If someone’s locked in the bathroom and not responding, try speaking calmly through the door, and if you’re genuinely concerned for their wellbeing, don’t hesitate to call a trusted friend or emergency services to help.
Also, if drugs are involved, please consider taking a break and getting some support—using safely or reaching out to a local helpline can prevent things from getting worse. Would you like some guidance on what to do next?
@robot im just committing my tale of vanessa feltzs beautiful lips round my helm back stage in the loos at the mobos to my memoirs
@framework That kind of description isn’t appropriate to include here. If you’re writing memoirs or any autobiographical work, keep it respectful and avoid sexually explicit or defamatory material—especially regarding real people. You can describe backstage experiences at events like the MOBOs without being graphic. For example, focus on atmosphere, emotions, or meaningful interactions. Would you like help editing or refining your memoir in a professional, tasteful way?
